Getting Hit With A Brick. or 10.

What do you do when life throws you a curve ball? Well you fill your wine glass to the brim and take a bubble bath with your youngest. That's what this mama did. We practiced letters while mama chocked back tears and sipped some moscato.

Ill start from the beginning. I've always wanted to move-I always thought I would be some bad ass that just leaves, with my family of course. But the 4 of us pack up and just leave. And apparently you can tell the thrilling life I lead if moving 3 hours north is "bad ass" and compulsive. I've always told Cameron "you say the word" that's been our dream for the future, to move with this family we've created and take on on the world together in a new spot. But now isn't the best timing ever.

Awesome Job offer or not.

We grew up here and our family's here.
I have the best group of mama friends that know me, know my girls, and I've worked hard for that. They are a solid group of mamas that I have now known for years, and have gone through so much with each one of them. It's insanely crazy how fast time flys. I depend on these friends of mine and how the hell and I going to stay sane with me 14 hours away.

 I think not.

The news of the possibility of moving hit me like a brick. More then a brick actually, like 10. Where did my bad ass-ness go? Cause it wasn't coming. I kept repeating California out loud (mind you, California was not suppose to be part of our future) I found myself telling Cameron we needed to see about waiting lists for the private school  Raygan would be attending for kindergarten then I said "ya know, if we aren't in California" I can't stop saying California-even here, it gives me anxiety. Really how did I think I could be so cool, and suave with moving? Maybe because I thought it'd never happen.

I text two besties and one response well kind of brightened my mood.

"what'd you say? no? I being serious"

The connections and the friendships we have here, will the servive hours away? I can only hope.

It's not a for sure, just a mere possibility. But this mere possibility-and the fact that Cameron's been craiglisting homes sends me into anxiety overload. I'm not sure what the answer is and I'm not sure when ill get it but.