I slipped away yesterday for a much needed manicure. By much needed, I mean more then my intense cuticles. I needed to get away. I've been stuck in the house for days. Days! Our normal activities were on hiatus for the holidays and all I've been doing is organizing and sorting through everything we have ever owned. Oh! and not to mention sleeping in a toddler bed for two nights straight with a teething baby. Thankfully her bed is wide like a twin, because it later extends. (Genius Ikea designers)
Anyways, back to my manicure. I'm so lucky that I live one minute from a nail salon. Literally. And no one was there except for the workers. Score!
They sat me down in the chair closest to the door. Which was a tad bit irritating considering its in a strip mall and it's freezing outside. But whatever. The nice nail technician snickered at the leftover color choices I had on my nails. Like the proud mama I am I told her my little girl at home did it and I had been supporting them for days. We began chatting and she told me she had two little boys at home.
I could see it in her eyes. The way she spoke of them with a generous smile and then watching it slowly disappeared as she looked down to continue my mini hand massage. I could tell she missed them. I could tell she wanted to be with them.
Then here I am. Getting my nails done by a women that most likely works all day 7 days a week. Because most of the women in those nail shops do. My sole purpose for being there was to get away from my girls. How awful I suddenly felt.
So many feelings were pouring out of me like a kettle ready to pour tea. Guilty, thankful, crappy, lonely. Literally everything.
I felt guilty that I have been blessed to stay home with my girls, and all I wanted an hour before was to run right out of that door. I felt thankful that I'm with them nearly every single second. I felt crappy, straight up crappy and lonely all at the same time. I wanted them, wanted to hug them and damn right needed them. And you know what? I came home to them sound asleep, which doesn't happen. Raygans done with naps and Remy apparently thinks so too as of about a week or so. I kissed their foreheads and thanked Cameron for the alone time.